Now Where Did I Put That Red Headed Peirced Pregnant Goat ?

The national newspaper USA Today published an article defineing good ole midwestern values. There is only one way to this article justice, and that is to post it.

Nebraska Goat thief sought
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — Missing: Two purple car doors and eight possibly pregnant South African goats.

Two unhappy owners reported the unusual thefts to officials this week. The owner of the eight South African boer goats told sheriff's deputies the animals were taken from a corral north of Lincoln sometime between Nov. 7 and Monday.

The $200 goats are brown and white and have red heads, an incident report said. Their left ears are pierced, there are red spray-paint spots on their rears and they may be pregnant.

Goat thievery is uncommon in Lancaster County, sheriff's Sgt. Andy Stebbing said.

Not so the theft of Honda Civic auto parts.

The people who stole the driver's side and passenger doors off Joe Ruterbories' purple Honda Civic "seemed to really know what they were doing," he said, when they unscrewed the hinges.

This was the second time someone stole pieces off his ride. The last thief opened the hood and stripped out the cold air intake system.

"Apparently the parts are not easy to find," Ruterbories said, who found that out when he called salvage yards about replacements.
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My favorite line is the Sarge saying "goat thevery is uncommon in Lancaster County." Well, I should hope so sargeant stuffedpants.
Strangly, my first thought wasn't "why the heck are people stealing pregnent african goats" but "What honda civic part is hard to find?" It's a CIVIC. You show me a rare Honda civic part and I'll show you a red headed African perced spraypainted goat. Oh wait, where did I put those goats again?

Are you listening?

I am deviating from my roots of commenting on news stories, but that's ok. I wanted to comment on my friends' Michaela's blog, she mentions people telling little lies all the time violating the Commandments. Well, in Sunday school one day, my teacher, Greg, told us it takes two to lie, one to pretend to care how you are feeling, the other to say everything in life is just fine. Well, this happens every day, all day. "How are you doing" or "How's it going" has become the new hello. Anyone remember the "WAZZZAPPP". I know I haven't. I am not immune to any of this, by the way. There is one guy at my work, however is the worst at this. He will say "How's it going" and not really care what the response is, but will follow it with "Goood." It is the funniest thing ever. At first, I would just say fine, or well, or even great. He would always respond with "Goood." One day, I wasn't fast enough and didn't say anything, but still got the standard issue response. That is when I started to think that he didn't really care how I was, but he just wanted to say more then a simple hello. So, being the ornery little man that I am, my responses started to vary. I would say things like "crappy", but perhaps he mistaken it for 'happy' and continued to give the trademark response. One day, I replied, “mad”. I wasn’t really mad, I just wanted to see if the response changed. Perhaps, he interpreted it as ‘glad’ while saying “Goood.” I was getting fed up with this possible misinterpreting and decided to give my most radical response. “Hey Jeff, How’s it going?” In the name of science only, I say, “I’m really upset and want to kill myself.” I know, I know, that was totally the wrong thing to say, I AM NOT SUICIDLE, but I really really really wanted to know the answer to that one. Should I hold you all out in suspense……. You already know what he said. “GOOOD!” Some people are sincere and really do want to know your feelings, this guy, however, just wants to say hello.

Granade Tossing, It's catching on

Found on the Ruters wire, three Bosnians were killed by playing a quick game of catch at two in the morning. Instead of using a baseball, coconut, or chunk of dried fecies like most normal kids, they chose a granade. Perhaps their age had something to do with it, they were 19 and 20. I know when I get the chance, baseballs just arn't as exciting as they were ten years ago. "It was not clear why the granade exploded." What isn't clear about a two pound incenderary device triggering if it is being tossed amongst three friends? Oh well, have a good week.